Live Blogging the Oscars

8:30: Here we go. Interesting little montage. Peter O'Toole is really old.

8:35: Ellen!!!

8:40: She is a funny woman. How much $$$ would she demand to wear a skirt?

8:42: Al Gore just got the night's loudest applause. Weird.

8:44: Night's first award. Art direction. Wasn't supporting actor always the first one? Who changed the rules? Nicole Kidman is very pale. And the winner is... Pan's Labyrinth!!! My choice.

8:48: Sci-Tech awards. Snore.

8:49: Dancing? Oh no! Wait... disaster averted.

8:52: Will Ferrell is singing. I'm afraid. Jack Black joins is. I'm afraider. John C. Reilly sings too. "Comedians don't get Oscars?" How about Eddie Murphy? Oh, they're presenting too! Best makeup. And the winner is Pan's Labyrinth!!! I'm 2 for 2!!

8:59: Abigail Breslin and Will Smith Jr. presenting together. Best animated short. The Danish Poet? That looked depressing as hell. Not my choice, but then again, who the hell ever gets this category right?

9:02: The kids also hand out Live Action Short. West Bank Story!! I got it right! Only because the name sounded politically correct. Hollywood people always vote for that stuff.

9:06: I do want to see Letters from Iwo Jima at some point.

9:11: Sound effects salute with a sound effects choir? Weird. But hey... pretty cool, actually.

9:13: Steve Carell and Greg Kinnear! Handing out the sound editing award. And adding sexual innuendo. Letters from Iwo Jima wins! I chose the other war movie, Flags of Our Fathers. Oh, well.

9:17: James McAvoy and Jessica Biel present the sound mixing award. I hate her hair. He's short! The winner is Dreamgirls. Boo! I chose FOOF here also.

9:20: Rachel Weisz shows up, so it's best supporting actor time. For the record, I chose Eddie Murphy for this category, but I'm prepared for an Alan Arkin upset. And it's an Arkin upset!!! Hmmm... does this bode well for a Little Miss Sunshine best pic upset?

9:25: Ellen does comedy with Martin Scorsese. Not as painful as it might sound.

9:30: James Taylor does a song from Cars. I always want to take a nap when I hear his voice. And Melissa Etheridge does her An Inconvenient Truth song.

9:35: Al Gore and Leo DiCaprio do a little environmental plug. Cute. Typical over-earnest Hollywood stuff.

9:42: Best Animated Movie, courtesy of Cameron Diaz. Go Cars! Ick. Happy Feet wins. Grrr... I think it's just too simple of an idea, and sort of riding the coattails of March of the Penguins. But then again, there's no original idea left in Hollywood, right?

9:45: Ben Affleck puts in an appearance. Calling him an "Academy Award Winner" is strange and wrong. A tribute to writers in films? Are they running out of montages?

(Sidebar: I hate Comcast and their intermittently available HD-broadcast!!!)

9:48: Helen Mirren and Tom Hanks. Can so much class fit on the screen? Best Adapted Screenplay is here! William Monahan gets it for The Departed, and I can check off another correct choice! :)

9:59: Best costume design, presented by Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway from The Devil Wears Prada. A "fitting" choice, if I may say so myself. Meryl Streep is fucking hilarious! I guessed Marie Antoinette. Let's see... and I'm right!!! Ha!

10:04: Tom Cruise shows up. Hide your vulnerable young women!! Ugh, it's one of those "special" awards. Zzzz....

10:10: Ellen and Clint. Awkward comedy continues. MySpace plug. Did YouTube not pay enough for a mention? Heh... Ellen "directing" Spielberg in taking a picture.

10:11: Gwyneth Paltrow and the "Amazing Left-Sided-Part Hairdo of Doom." From her awkward banter, I'm guessing that she's presenting cinematography. I picked Pan's Labyrinth. How did I do? I'm right!!! Whee!!!!!

10:19: Naomi Watts and Robert Downey Jr. What a random combo. Visual Effects Award. Downey makes a drug joke. Nice. Naomi looks uncomfortable doing pre-scripted banter. Did my choice win? Yes!! Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest pulls it off!

10:23: Catherine Deneuve and Ken Watanabe. Who picks these combinations? Oh, it's Foreign Language Film - no wonder. Again, I chose Pan's Labyrinth... do you sense a theme? Oops, I guess first we do a "50 Years of Foreign Films" montage. Assembled by Giuseppe Tornatore? Doesn't he have better things to do?

10:29: I guess it falls to Clive Owen and Cate Blanchett to announce the actual winner in this category. And Germany gets it! Darn Krauts. But then again, I do want to see The Lives of Others. Mostly I'm impressed that the German director can speak English with such ease... How could Pan's Labyrinth not win here!??!?!?!

10:32: Snakes on a Plane shoutout! Alright!!!

10:33: Clooney strolls in, cool as always. Supporting Actress time! Will they give it to the American Idol reject? They did! I can't fucking believe it. I guess I have to see the damn movie now, huh? What's with the band? Do not even the acting winners get enough time to do their speeches now?

10:38: There's 10 categories left, and only 22 official minutes to finish them. Good luck. Plus, at least 2 musical performances. This might go a little long...

10:41: Eva Green and Gael Garcia Bernal. Tres international! Documentary Short Subject Award. Also known as bathroom break. I chose some enviro-movie, but I was wrong. It's some China genocide thingamajig. Whatever. (Am I sounding unenlightened about this category?)

10:44: Jerry Seinfeld? Umm.. isn't this a MOVIE awards show? Did he get lost on his way to the Emmys last fall? And he's presenting the Documentary Feature Awards... the randomness continues. And of course he does a little standup. You know, I've seen Seinfeld on stage. He ain't that funny. Just sayin'. And the winner is... An Inconvenient Truth. Shocker... not!!!

10:48: Al Gore stumbles onto the stage with the director. You know, why couldn't the 2007 version of Gore run for President in 2000? How much different would the world be?

10:49: Clint! Damn, he's getting kinda old, huh? Ugh... it's the special award for Ennio Morricone. Celine Dion will be singing. Hide your... um... well, everybody just hide!! She'll frighten the kids and annoy everyone else! She looks like freakin' Skeletor.

12:03: Oops, I kind of let my guard down for a second (or hour), huh? Well, Forest Whitaker just picked up his Oscar and Helen Mirren got hers earlier. Big surprise, huh? I just kind of have to brag a bit because I chose correctly in the Best Song category, which I don't think many others did. Melissa Etheridge holding an Oscar is kind of weird. But she did kiss her wife and was followed in rapid succession on stage by Ellen and Jodie Foster. Good night for lesbians, eh? (Whitaker is still kind of creepy, though.) Full disclosure: I got Film Editing wrong - never underestimate the power of Thelma Schoonmaker cutting a Scorsese film.

12:06: Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas amble out to present Best Director. With this ensemble on hand, how does Scorsese not win? I hope he does. And he does!!! I'm happy for him and so is everyone else, apparently. He's a funny little man, and this was a LONG time coming.

12:13: Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson declare The Departed as Best Picture of the Year. I got that right, but Little Miss Sunshine could have pulled an upset. Having some anonymous producer accept the award is sort of anticlimactic, but knowing that Scorsese is watching on makes it OK. I guess I better go see it now, right?

12:16: Ellen says good night. And so do I!!! For the record, I got 15 out of 24 categories correct. Not bad!